Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
