The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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