im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my being single is dangerous.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
