You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
