i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
