Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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