lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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