We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
