Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
