Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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