Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
