he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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