dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize