Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
