Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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