just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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