I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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