her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
please come you make the beer taste better
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
