i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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