I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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