Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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