been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize