Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
