I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
