i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize