Me. At least after what I've been through.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
