Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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