ya dads aren't the best wingmen
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
