Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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