I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
