Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize