I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
