just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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