Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
