You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
