and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I deserve this hangover.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
