You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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