Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
