I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
