K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my being single is dangerous.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
