LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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