You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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