Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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