dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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