dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
