Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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