We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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