BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
