the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
