just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
