New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he was CRYING into my vagina
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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