we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
