The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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