yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
