What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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