Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize