I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
