how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
