She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
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