he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
