piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
