i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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