: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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