i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Found your dick twin last night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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