I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize