I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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