you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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