She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
