pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You were trust falling into bushes
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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