she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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