I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
